January

‘Who are you?’ Group session. Mondays 7pm

Owl Swap. Weekly club where members swap owls. Tuesdays 12.31pm

Gas discussions. Bi-monthly group for men. Thursday mornings?

February

Closed for spraying.

March

‘Who are you?’ Group session. Mondays 7pm

Owl Swap. Weekly club where members swap owls. Tuesdays 12.31pm

Gas discussions. Bi-monthly group for men. Thursday mornings?

April

May

January

February

March

April

‘Who are you?’ Group session. Mondays 7pm

Owl Swap. Weekly club where members swap owls. Tuesdays 12.31pm

Gas discussions. Bi-monthly group for men. Thursday mornings?

Closed for spraying.

Dry swimming with Small Paul. Tuesdays. 3.65pm

Make your own shoe. Practical lesson. Fridays 12.12am

Giant Crisps Exhibition. Giant crisps from around the world. 12-13th.

Tony Might Be Here. Renowned ex-villager Tony might be here. 2pm

May

June

Seven small birds. Talk by Jimmothan Yelt. Monday 21st. 8.08am

Make your own shoelace. Follow up to ‘Make Your Own Shoe’. 2pm.

'May I Search?' Treasure talk with Robert Rall and Robert Rull. Tuesdays at 45pm.

July

Drown Safely. Adults only course. Sunday 8th, 5am.

Floor and Time. Unknown course. TBC

More Dogs, I Suppose! Comedy hour with comic Michael Prick. Weds 5.54pm

Rags for Hags. Old clothes jumble sale for old hags. 3.33pm

August

Holiday Packing for Seniors. Advice on what and what not to take. Thurs 8.18pm

What is Pink Water? Science and fun with a local professor. Thurs 8.19pm

September

October

Howdin’s Animal Selection. Come and pet the animals belonging to Mr and Mrs. Howdin. This month - Water Pigs!

Halloween Witch Finding. Local hunt for actual witches. 8pm.

How to cream a cabbage. Gardening related club for cooks/chefs. 2.11pm

November

December

Hairy Coat Club. Got a hairy coat? Then come along! Mondays 4.32pm

Hamsbury Explosions. Annual bonfire and explosions. Nov 5th. 9.13pm

Name Your Presents Please. Fun Xmas quiz. Hosted by Bill Shibe. 24th. 9pm

Lonely at Christmas? Meet-up for Hamsbury’s most lonely. Dec 25th - CANCELLED

HAMSBURY NEWS

WARNING!

There have been reports that the annual swarm of Hamsbury bees will be returning at the end of the month. We have been assured by our local police woman (PC Helen Genitals) that if the bees return to the village it’s very important not to get stung by them. If in the event you hear the Hamsbury bee alert, please hurry to the town hall to receive your protective coat and anti-sting injections. Remember, swarms of bees may look attractive but they have proven perilous in the past.

Hamsbury Village Hall Diary Dates

Hamsbury Movie Night

The silver screen* is back with the premiere of the new sci-fi hit Five Eyes in the Sky 5 taking some of the country by storm. Tuesday at 7.30pm. There is only room for 15 chairs so it’s advised you either arrive early or don’t come at all. And please, no crunchy foods!

*It’s not actually a silver screen. It’s a big white cloth that was found in the road. If you believe the cloth belongs to you, please contact Deb-Debs on 7734 4453 2211 and say ‘That big white cloth is mine’.

Hamsbury Committee Meeting

The seven Elders of Hamsburyshire will once again convene on the 31st of next month in order to discuss current and ex-current events throughout Hamsbury. Topics up for discussion are the appearance of a large chrome shard in Wuppins field, dress code for the nude summer ball, and the latest scientific findings regarding the Hamsbury crab that simply refuses to die.

Weather Forecast

Bin Collections have changed!

As of last Monday, bin and waste pot collection times have changed. Bins will now be collected every other Tuesday at 9.27am and waste pots will be collected every other day, starting at 8am through to midnight on every half and quarter hour. Residents should also be aware that any waste pots stuffed to the brim will not be collected and will in fact be placed upside down on the owner’s lawn as a penalty. Residents are also asked not to talk to the bin collector called Percy especially while he is handling waste pots.

A mixture of snow and sun (snun) will be arriving very soon so do ensure you are wearing both gloves and sunglasses. Cold drinks are not recommended following the epidemic of ‘frozen throat’ reports last year.

Jill Till's Quiet Band

Back for a second time after their almost sold out last performance, the very talented Jill Till returns with her fusion of upbeat quiet drums, downbeat even quieter drums, and a selection of really very quiet indeed wind instruments. Featuring a guest appearance by Hamsbury’s own Jacob Funch with his enormous music pipe. A night for a lot of people to enjoy. Tickets start at £15 and stop at £15.

Hamsbury Grey Shell Winner

Congratulations to Peggy Wibe for discovering the Hamsbury grey shell this month. Peggy is reported to have been ‘very pleased and also very surprised’ upon finding the grey shell in her own bedroom. She receives a cheque and a box and the chance to take part in the activity once again next month. Entrants are requested to register before next Wednesday possibly. Please note, the grey shell can/will cause sickness if handled incorrectly.

Annual Produce Producers Competition

Thank you to everyone who took part in this year’s Produce Producers competition! The winner was Ram Daniels for his excellent display entitled ‘The Mayor’s Lucky Leaves’. Ram went through to the final against last year’s winner Sam Lag, and won by knockout (see noticeboard to the left).